Me and My Calvins

25 Jun

Today I have been sifting through a large cardboard box of
clothing that I never wear and decided to get rid of almost a year ago.  Most
of the items I was happy to get rid of, to either sell them to a consignment
shop or drop them off at the Salvation Army.  Then I came across a pair of
gloriously faded, dark blue, size 5 Calvin Klein boot cut jeans, perfectly worn
in all the right places.  I realize that at one point in my life, I made
the decision to say goodbye to them forever and then placed them in a box to be
sent off to who knows where, never to be seen again.  However, in a moment
of weakness, fueled by memories of a younger and slimmer me that lived a fun
and fabulous life in, and sometimes out of, a perfect-fitting pair of size 5
Calvin Klein boot cut jeans, I took them out of the box and haven’t put them
back. 

I am holding them in my lap right now as I type this, and I know that I probably
couldn’t even fit my right leg into them, much less my ghetto booty, but
something inside of me can’t seem to let them go.  Part of me wants to go
back to being that sometimes coy and often mischievous girl that wore this
marvelous pair of size 5 Calvin Klein boot cut jeans.  Even though in
reality only four or so years have gone by, it seems that an entire lifetime
has passed.  The question I ask myself is
this:  Should I hold on to them, hold on the youthful  memories of a
time when nothing came between me and my Calvins, hold on to the hopes that
even though I am never going to be that girl again I can at least, maybe
someday, be her size again, maybe?  Should
I hang them by my mirror for inspiration finally to start that diet or exercise
program that I always talk about but never actually begin?  Or should I
just let them go, let them go to someone who is still nineteen and can eat
whatever she wants without gaining a pound, or maybe someone who forty but has
a teenager’s body? 

I cannot say that I know right now what will become of this perfectly worn and
wonderfully faded pair of size 5 Calvin Klein boot cut jeans.  They may
end up in the back of my closet, or possible in someone else’s.  Maybe
I’ll even wear them again when I’m fifty and in the best shape of my
life.  Who knows?  All I know is that it’s okay to replace your
favorite pair of jeans with a new, better-fitting,  favorite.  But there’s
also nothing wrong with holding on to them, just in case.

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3 Responses to “Me and My Calvins”

  1. kiminchina Monday, June 26, 2006 at 2:53 am #

    I love it!And I love you and miss you!I am going to see you SOON!

  2. enchated_lady_of_the_lake Monday, June 26, 2006 at 9:22 am #

    I can’t say that I’ve EVER fit into a size 5 anything, but I do know that memories last forever. There is no need to create clutter or take up space in a closet with something that has fulfilled its purpose. Let them go. Give them to someone you admire or trust who can fit them. Let them have a chance to create memories in a pair of size 5 Calvin Klein boot cut jeans. It’s the only real way for them to fulfill others dreams. Miss you laura.~melanie fairley
    PS. my e-mail is mgracescareer@yahoo.com i need your address so I can send you and invitation to my wedding in September!!!

  3. waitingfor1day Monday, June 26, 2006 at 1:55 pm #

    just be there july 9th 🙂 the new pastor will be there to preach and we will vote that day too 🙂

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